Thanksgiving and Kindness

My Wife and I went to my Parent’s house for Thanksgiving.  I didn’t make it a well known fact, and here is why.  My diagnosis has been going on for a year now, well over a year but really who is counting the days.  So I figured that the people in my life that really cared about me and not some ego rating on Facebook or Life would show up.  Sure enough the ones that really cared showed up and I’m not 100 percent sure that they won’t post shit on line.  I would be OK with it.

Now it is the ones that only visit and use it to boost their egos, that piss me off.  They have shown very little concern about my treatment and when they are around all they do is brag about their lives.  I like to listen to it, but it really doesn’t mean a lot to me.

I had a visit with a classmate a few weeks ago and that visit went well.  It was nice to know that I am not alone and that they are here for me if I need them.  I spent time with family that are deeply concerned about my health and just talking to them about it makes me feel better.  Some of the best things about living with cancer is finding someone who is rubbing your arm as you sleep.  When I woke up and one of my aunts was kneeling down by my side and just expressing kindness and worry.  It made me feel as though I am still apart of their lives.  That was awesome.  A real spirit booster.

So I started to think about those that I have met over the past year.  Some of them have no one to care for them.  I wish I could do more for them then offer them my cell number.  I have thought about hosting a xmas party to try to lift their spirits.  That is still in the works.

I will be spending the xmas season back in the Salt Lake area because I have appointments and tests to run.  I am nervous about the PET Scan results.  So in order to ease my mind, I would like to show some kindness to others that are living with cancer.  Just think, sometimes a simple visit where all you do is discuss the things that are affecting the lives of our society and stuff like that, is all it takes to make a friend and to put the nervous worry about the shit we are going through on the back burner.  I hope I can do this and at least help one person.  The holidays are a high suicide rate among cancer patients.  If I could help just one person through this tough spot then maybe they will see that someone does care and they will continue to struggle and beat the cancer.  That is my hope at least.

I got to see so many family members.  I tried to talk to each one of them.  I know that they saw just how weak I have become.  I had a rough patch with the radiation and stent issues during the past few months.  I thought that this trip would be family time only, but no, I have to spend time with those that are helping me out at the Arapahoe Clinic.  Some of them show concern, while a very select few show no compassion nor skill to do their jobs.  I just had to go through all of my medical records and appointments and file the same things I filed back in July.  Someone lost everything they had on me, so they started a new file and fought with me about what I had done that they say I haven’t.  I love it when people lie right to your face about the simple things that can be proven.  People’s faces change and their attitudes adjust when they find out that I have spoken to their bosses. So we’ll see how it goes.  If all goes well then it will be as though nothing was wrong, now on the other hand, if things go bad.  Then we’ll see just how long they still have a job.  Those people piss me off, but I still try to treat them with respect and kindness.  So they can’t say that I got rude or pissy about things.

How I see it is, it all boils down to money.  The tribes will buy my insurance in order to avoid spending thousands of dollars a month.  My Insurance costs less than six-hundred and fifty dollars a month.  Some of the tests and treatments are thousands of dollars more.  So they set up a program to help with that.  How hard could it be to keep that information in order and to keep in contact with the cancer patient?  Well apparently a lot harder then it looks.


Well that is all for now my friends.  If you have any questions feel free to call me or shoot me an email.  you can email me at  If we hit it off then I will give you my number and we can shoot the bull.  Have a safe and happy holiday season folks.